Incomplete Marriage… Why Does It Happen?
Many couples get officially married, but soon discover that the real marital relationship isn’t happening. Life seems fine on the outside, but inside, something is missing. They live together, but something feels off. This makes them wonder: Is this the marriage we were waiting for? Why does it feel like we’re still just engaged or like roommates?
What Is Vaginismus?
Vaginismus is a condition that directly affects marital intimacy. Simply put, the body involuntarily rejects physical intimacy due to deep fear or anxiety. Sometimes, the woman herself doesn’t even know what she’s afraid of. And often, the husband isn’t aware that such a condition even exists. The couple may spend months or even years caught in confusion and tension.
The Reasons Aren’t Always Clear
The woman doesn’t necessarily have to go through trauma like female circumcision to develop vaginismus. In fact, cases appear in countries where this isn’t practiced at all. This shows that the root cause is often psychological—linked to fear, shame, or a total lack of information about intimacy.
Harmful Reactions from Some Doctors
Unfortunately, some women face very bad experiences at clinics. Some doctors get upset if the patient refuses to be examined or expresses fear. Others might say hurtful things like “you’re just being dramatic” or “it’s your fault.” These reactions make the condition worse and destroy the patient’s trust, delaying the healing process.
Treatment Isn’t Hard If We Know the Way
The truth is, treatment is simple in many cases. About 60% of women recover with behavioral therapy alone, without any medication or surgery. Another 30% may need light sessions or simple tools. Only 10% require medical intervention. The real problem is not the difficulty of treatment, but the fear of starting it.
Every Case Is Unique
Just because one woman healed with a certain course or session doesn’t mean you’ll recover the same way. Each case is different, with its own background and emotional triggers. That’s why treatment should be tailored specifically to your personal needs—not copied from someone else’s experience.
Emotional Support Is More Important Than Medication
Without emotional support from the husband, the journey becomes much harder. When a man thinks his wife is rejecting him or doesn’t love him, it damages the relationship. But if he understands that she’s going through something beyond her control and stands by her, healing becomes much easier and the marriage starts to feel alive again.
Final Message
If you’re going through something like this—or even suspect something isn’t right—don’t delay seeking help. Choose a trustworthy place and a team that understands the issue and treats it with care and respect. With time, proper treatment, and the right support, you can live a natural, fulfilling life just like any other wife.
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